Everyone seems to be getting into these books about living in exotic locations abroad, so, in attempt to broaden my appeal and capture some of the lucrative “Espresso Guitar” market, I present to you a tale of my day in Tuscany.
I woke up this morning and sighed because even though I did yoga every day and only drank soya milk lattes, I was feeling somewhat empty inside. Then a friend of mine rang up and said “I need someone to housesit my villa in Tuscany this afternoon.”
I didn’t want to do it because I am a high-powered career woman and all I care about is myself, but it was my oldest and dearest friend asking, so I felt guilty enough to not be able to refuse.
I jumped in my 1999 Volkswagen Beetle and drove over to Tuscany. When I arrived I didn’t like it because there were no high rise apartment buildings and there was no decent coffee. I met an old man called Luigi who wasn’t very nice to me and said there were too many foreigners coming to Tuscany.
I walked down to the markets and bought some pasta and vegetables and then went back to the Tuscan villa and attempted to cook an authentic Tuscan lunch. All I managed to do was burn everything and I started crying Then a handsome young fellow called Mario came over and said “Oh pretty bella, stop crying, let me show you my grandfather’s olive orchard!”
So Mario showed me his grandfather’s olive orchard and then invited me back to his place where his grandmother Michelina was cooking a big Tuscan meal. I sat around with the Corleone family and we talked about how sweet life was.
The old man from earlier came over and hugged me and said that I was most welcome to stay with them and for me to call him Papa Luigi.
Then my friend showed up and thanked me for housesitting, so I bid farewell to my new friends, jumped in my car and drove back home.
When I got back to my highrise city apartment I realised that I even though I did not live on an olive orchard in Tuscany, I could still live the simple and peaceful Tuscan life because there would always be a little bit of Tuscany in my heart.