Dumb Questions

Veronica Sawyer: This may seem like a really stupid question…
Jason Dean: There are no stupid questions.
Veronica Sawyer: You inherit five million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they will blow it up in two days. What do you do?
Jason Dean: That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard.

From Heathers, 1989

Dumb questions are bad, but the worst kind of dumb question is one that’s disguised as a profound statement. One that’s meant to make you stop and think about stuff, man. Questions like this:

“If the world was going to end tomorrow and you only had one day to live and if you could only make one phone call, who would you call?”

Sometimes “Well, what are you waiting for?” is added to the end. The idea is that the answer is like “I’d ring up Josh from my accounting tutorial and tell him that I love him.”

But I don’t actually think that would happen. If the world was about to end and some gimp rang me up and confessed his undying love for me, I would not me impressed. It’s just rude.

The whole idea behind these pseudo-psychological questions like those is they are meant to make you think about why it would take such a situation like that to make you do something.

But really, if the world was about to end tomorrow would you really call some person and confess your eternal love? Or would you rather spend time with your friend/family/loved ones, or even barricade yourself in your gardens shed with the remains of your Y2K kit?

Maybe dumb questions have their place with late night conversations over pizza about the meaning of life, but other than that, don’t look for any insight, because ain’t any.

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