I was walking down the street when I saw a sign outside a cafe advertising “COFFEE AND DESERT”.
This intrigued me as whilst coffee is a fairly standard menu item for cafes, it’s not often that you see one offering desert.
I shifted my glance towards the cafe. It did not appear to offer the hallmarks of a desert. There was not a vast expanse of sand. There were no palm trees, no oasis. The great pyramids of Egypt and buzzards circling an animal carcass were conspicuous by their absense.
Then I thought that maybe this cafe was being poetic. That they were offering themselves as a desert in the middle of the city. A hot dry place on a cold and wet day.
Or perhaps they were offering just deserts. That anyone who entered that cafe would get what was coming.
Then another thought occurred to me. Perhaps whoever had written the sign had meant to write “COFFEE AND DESSERTS” and indeed had thought that’s what they were writing. Indeed desserts are a common enough menu item in cafes. So how could this mistake have possibly been made? I formulated a theory.
The person who wrote on the blackboard probably also worked behind the counter at the cafe. They were probably such a highly-skilled cafe worker that they had spent all their time and effort master the art of their trade that they simply didn’t have enough time to learn the basics of spelling. It’s also likely that they spent so much money on purchasing reference books on the art of cafe work that they did not have enough cash left over to purchase a dictionary. And no doubt the life of a cafe worker is one of such intense concentration and the need for solitude so great that to ask a co-worker to check the spelling would be totally out of the question.
So I entered the cafe and informed a fellow behind the counter of the error. He responded, “Oh right, oh did we. Oh, ok. Right.”
And they say the kids of today don’t get taught proper English.