Things To Do

So I quit my job and now I am, technically, unemployed. This now means that I have a lot of free time (as opposed to before when my time was enslaved and beaten with whips and chains and sang spirituals about how it wasn’t going to let no one get it down?).

So what does one do with a lot of free time? I tried to remember back to 1993 and 1994 when I was on the dole. The only thing that really sticks out was for three Tuesdays running my friend Renee and I saw “Romper Stomper” at the movies, which consisted of eating a giant bag of M&Ms during the movie, then going to Metropolis Caffe for two mochaccinos, then going home and being still awake at 6.00 am writing bad poetry about the caffeine that was gripping my soul.

Not wanting to repeat this, I am having to come up with lots of choice fun stuff to do on my own. Unfortunately this time around everyone I know seems to be in gainful employment and doesn’t have the time to bum around with me during the day.

So this page is going to be all about stuff I’ve done to fill in the hours. Things to in Auckland when you’re unemployed.

Monday, 13 November – I went for a walk.

I walked over the pedestrian overbridge that goes over the North-Western motorway. It’s a very cool overbridge. Possibly my favourite way of crossing the motorway. Anyway, I noticed some interesting graffiti on the bridge:

Beeburger

Yeah, “Corporate Beeburger”. The common catchcry of the whole meat-is-murder, anti-fastfood chain people is “corporate death burger”. Now, you might get it a bit wrong and write “corporate beefburger” which still sort of gets the message of fast food of oppression. But where does “corporate beeburger” come from?

The only mention of a “beeburger” I found on the Internet was in the March 1994 “The Food Insects Newsletter”. It was about the viability of large-scale harvesting of insects for food. Hardly graffiti inspiring.

There’s that urban legend that [large evil burger chain] bulk up their beef patties with ground worms. Could this be a sign that maybe bees are being added in the mix?

So I continued on my journey. I’d been tipped off that there was something very savvy going on at the corner of Great North and Newton Roads. Right across the road from where I used to live, even. I investigated and saw that John Andrew Ford had cyberfied a logo so that “Enhance” became “Enh@nce”:

Enhance

Now, normally “Enhance” would be a really boring name for an automotive financing service, but stylising the letter a so it becomes an @ shows real savvy and know-how.

It’s tempting to get pedantic and say “Oh, but wouldn’t that mean it’s “Enhatnce”?”, or ask what exactly does a symbol most commonly seen in email address have to do with auto financing, but that’s the sort of Knowledge-Based-Economy-knocking that this country has seen far too much of.

Should I ever require financing to purchase a new car, I know where I will be getting it from.

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