I was in a shopping mall and I walked past an appliance store. Something caught my eye. There were two walls with about three rows of different models of TVs and they were all playing the video to the Backstreet Boys hit single “I Want It That Way.”
I stopped in my tracks, turned around, went in and spent the next three minutes and thirty three seconds pretending to be checking out the TVs when instead I was checking out the Backstreet Boys.
I don’t take pride in this. I felt like an alcoholic chugging down cough syrup and pretending to have a really sore throat. Yeah, I was really interested in those TVs. So interested that the only thing I can remember is that most of them were silver and there were some really big ones and other ones were small.
So the Boys did that sensitive brooding in front of an aeroplane, singing that song about how they could never love the girl because they want her too much, or whatever it’s about.
Oh yeah, I suppose I’d better reveal who my favourite Backstreet Boy is! It’s pretty much a process of elimination. Howie D is out. He’s like the Tori Spelling of the Backstreet Boys (I fell over and scraped my knee when I was looking at a poster with Tori Spelling on it instead of the pothole in the footpath). Brian’s pretty cute, but he’s married, ditto for Kevin. So it comes down to AJ and Nick. It’s a tough decision. Nick’s got the whole pretty boy thing happening, but AJ has the bad-boy-finger-bang thing. Oh no! I can’t decide!
So, in conclusion, I really dig the Backstreet Boys and N*Sync (or however you spell their name) are a bunch of wussy girlie girls. And that makes me larger than life.