Melbourne: Part Two – The Fold-Out Couch

A couple of months ago I decided to move to Melbourne. Whenever I told people I was going there, a conversation like this usually took place:

Robyn: I’m moving to Melbourne.
Person: Really? Have you got a job there.
Robyn: No.
Person: Oh, is it just a holiday?
Robyn: No.
Person: So what are you going to be doing there?
Robyn: I don’t know.
Person: Errrr… [implodes with confusion]

What it really came down to was I was really bored with doing very little in Auckland, so I thought it would be more interesting to be doing very little in Melbourne. So far that’s been proven true.

(Actually, just as a side note, when I say “doing very little”, I am using the literary technique of hyperbole. I don’t literally mean that I am doing very little, indeed there are not enough hours in the day for me to do all that I want to do. But you knew that, right?)

Melbourne is cool but everywhere you go there are reminders that society has a Serious Heroin Problem. Blue lights in toilets to make finding a vein hard, yellow needle disposal boxes when the vein is easy to find. The sign in the restaurant that says they don’t give out the toilet key to junkies. It’s all very urban and gritty, y’know.

Movies are more expensive here. A full price adult ticket in New Zealand is NZ$12.00, but here I have to pay around NZ$17.00, which totally sucks arse. But the good thing is there a quite a few cool independent theatres that play good films and don’t charge a lot. Sweet as.

Actually, I saw two incredibly cool movies that I possibly wouldn’t have had the opportunity to see in New Zealand.

The first was “The Crimson Rivers (Les Rivieres Pourpres),” which I saw the trailer for in New Caledonia. It was so cool. It was a fairly standard psycho killer thriller, but Vincent Cassel was in it, so that obviously elevated it to a new level of cool.

The other film I saw was “Nsync: Bigger Than Live,” which is an IMAX film of Nsync performing live in concert from the “No Strings Attached” tour. I saw this in Sydney, and it excited me. Not many films do that. I never thought I would be, or could be, but I’m really into Nsync now. I’m not sure words can express how much I love Nsync.

Anyway, back to Melbourne. Trams are fun because there are lots of crazy people who take trams. I have all these crazy-people-on-trams observations I’ve been scribbling down. And I want to go to Footscray, which is where “Romper Stomper” was set, but I’m a bit scared (Why? Russell Crowe might give me the bash?).

Right. That’s quite enough from me. Just to summarise: I’m in Melbourne, Nsync rule.

Leave a Reply