Bad Albums

I came across a web site where a fellow had come up with a list of “one hundred albums you should remove from your collection immediately.” I went through and figured out which ones I had and was offended by suggestions such as that almost all of the Beasties Boys albums were crap.

But then I had a closer look at those CDs and I realised that yeah, I probably should get rid of them. Most of them are ones haven’t listened to in ages, and there’s a few that I bought not because I liked the music but because someone else thought it was a cool album.

So here’s an annotated list of the CDs I should probably take down to Real Groovy to trade-in:

Nirvana – Nevermind
I bought this back in ’92 because it was the cool album to buy. I first listened to it on my Walkman, while lying in bed one night. It scared me a little bit, but I came to like it. Then Kurt died and before my eyes Nirvana became my generation’s The Doors, which meant Kurt was Jim-fucking-Morrison. I couldn’t stand listening to “Nevermind” anymore.

Oasis – What’s the Story, Morning Glory?
I will always love the bombastic wall of sound of the song “What’s the story?”, but the rest of the album has slipped away. I think I may have sold my copy of this.

Beastie Boys – Paul’s Boutique
This has “Shadrach”, which is choice and “Hey Ladies”, which is silly. But I can not remember any other tracks and I think this may have been sold that one time when I needed rent money in a hurry.

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Blood Sugar Sex Magik
Do you know how much I loved the Chili Peppers when I was 17? I loved them so much that I didn’t do a Geography assignment because I went to the Chili Peppers’ concert the night before it was due. A couple of days ago I found myself singing “The Greeting Song” in my car. This album will always have a special place in my heart, but it’s been years since I’ve listened to it.

White Stripes – White Blood Cells
There are some really cool songs on this album, but there are also a few dud tracks. It probably would have made a really excellent EP. Back when I lived in Hammo I used to walk into town listening to this. I knew something was up when I’d tune out and stop listening to the album about halfway through, only to reconnect back at the last track.

Chemical Bothers – Dig Your Own Hole
This is so ’97. It takes me back, man. I really like the Beth Orton song (yeah, who doesn’t?) and the one with Noel Gallagher on it (yeah, who doesn’t?). The rest of it fades into a blur of sports replay soundtrack music.

Beastie Boys – Hello Nasty
This came out and everyone was like “new Beasties!!!”. So I bought it (I even got the special version with the fold out cardboard cover). There are a few cool songs, but the only one that really excites me is “Song for the man”. Their next album is going to be just like this.

Pulp Fiction – Original Soundtrack
For a brief period in the mid-90s, when “tarantino” was a verb, this is one of those albums that everybody owned. I remember dubbing the surf instro tracks onto a tape and taking care to not copy the annoying dialogue bites. That’s all it was good for, the surf instro and the Al Green.

Smashing Pumpkins – Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
I knew this album was shit when it first came out so I didn’t buy it. But then I did that stupid thing I always end up doing – I bought it because a guy I liked also liked it. There were about two songs that I enjoyed at the time, but most of it seemed like lite teen girl pop, with a few teen boy rock angst songs thrown in.

Hole – Live Through This
I loved this album so much. I learned how to play all the songs on my guitar. I never really dug the cult of Courtney, but Hole as a band somehow did it for me. But I’ve totally grown out of it, probably for the same reason that I don’t listen to “Nevermind” anymore.

The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band
I should give this away because I’ve never listened to it since I bought it. It seemed like a good album to own, like musical karma. But no one likes record geeks.

Dinosaur Jr. – You’re Living All Over Me
There’s only good track on this album. Some people will tell you that it’s “Tarpit” but they are lying. It is actually “Raisans”. I love that song so much and I will never grow tired of it. I have, however, grown tired of the rest of the album. But it’s one that I don’t think I could ever get rid of because it’s just so iconic.

R.E.M. – Out of Time
The best thing that happened because of this album was that “Losing My Religion” was Brenda and Dylan’s song on “Beverly Hills 90210”. I liked “Low” but the rest of the album was like someone had got really stoned and tried to make a meaningful album but just got lost along the way.

Madonna – The Immaculate Collection
This album kind of marked the end of Madonna as a single-and-free party girl, and the beginning of her transformation into a mother and wannabe serious artiste. I had (still have, maybe?) her first four proper albums and listening to them in their entirety is more enjoyable than the mishmash pseudo nostalgia down the greatest hits path.

Violent Femmes – Violent Femmes
I like “Add it up”, “Kiss off” and “Gone daddy, gone”. The one track I can not tolerate at all is “Blister in the sun”. I can’t understand what that piece of shit song is so popular. It almost seems that the more drunk people are, the more they like it. In fact, whenever I hear “Blister in the sun” I feel very ill.

The Prodigy – Music for the Jilted Generation
Interestingly enough, this is the only album on the list that thinking about it has actually made me want to listen to it. It’s a little pretentious, but quite a fun album. It reminds me of sitting around with goths and geeks drinking those funny little pre-mixed raver drinks that used to be around a few years ago. I love “No good”.

Leave a Reply