Pink schedule

Currently doing the blog rounds is the faux bling encrusted Samsung cellphone for ladies.

The description of the phone (“It’s delicately cut edges give brilliance comparable to a diamond, reflecting eternal beauty.”) have a certain English-as-a-second-language feeling, but it’s the list of the special features for women the phone has that really excites me:

Features for Women
– Biorhythm
– Fatness Index
– Calorie Calculator
– Pink Schedule
– Menstruation

Isn’t that brilliant? It’s not just dinky little cell phone features. It’s almost like the five most suckiest things about being female. Belief in crazy future prediction systems! Being neurotic about weight! Being neurotic about eating! Being obsessed with appearing cute and delicate! And bleeding, like the dirty, filthy harlot you secretly are.

I’m waiting for Samsung to make a special men’s phone with the following special features:

Features for Men
– Football
– Penis size
– Naked lady
– Toilet
– Beer

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