Your arse is huge

If you are bored and are randomly surfing the interweb looking for something vaguely interesting, don’t go to a weight loss forum thinking that it’ll be good for a laugh, in a kind of BadWickedEvil sort of way. Such forums seem to be populated exclusively by crazy, neurotic women. Posts are usually like this:

“help me. i just ate an entire king size block of cadbury fruit and nut chocolate (yum!!!!!) and 2 litres of chocolate milk and a big bag of chicken chips and i feel so guilty!!!!! what can i do!!!?? should i eat anything tomorrw?? help me because i don’t know what 2 do. i am so naughty!!!!!”

“ok guy’s here’s our next challenge. everyone let’s aim to lose 5 kilos by next month!!! it’ll be really great and it will be the kick start booster that we all need!!! and remember to post your weekly totals here every week and we can give each other all the support we need!!! yeah!! come on, team, i know u can do it!!!!’

“i just wanna say to HuGGGy1 this: GOOD ONE!!! im so proud of ur progress!!!!! everytime i see how much uv lost it is truly inspiring 2 me!!!! yeah!!!! keep it up bcuz u r a winner and u have so much to share with us!!!”

“can someone tell me how many calories are in a vitamin c tablet. i think i am getting a cold so i have been taking lots of vitamin c’s and i am concerned that there are calories in vitamin c that i am not counting. has any1 had a negative experience involving vitamin c and weigh gain???”

The first few posts like that are amusing, but when they’re all like that it’s like being stuck in a small room with a bunch of hysterical women rushing around.

I am so tempted to create an account on one of those sites and make a post like “Hey girls, I lost 30 kilograms in one month through methamphetamine abuse! I did it and so can you!” But I won’t, because I know they’ll all take it seriously and do it.

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