Happy, New, Yeah.

The part of main street of Raglan had been closed off, turning the intersection of Bow Street and Wainui Road into a giant town square. The Raglan Hotel, at the centre of it all, shone its light over the streets, and provided the locals and visiting revellers with plenty of booze.

There was a stage set up down Wainui Road. The Hollow Grinders were playing when I arrived. Most of the audience were standing back from the stage, but there was a row of small children sitting along the front of the stage.

At the front left of the stage was a young lady dancing in front of the stage. She had the hugest arse I’ve ever seen. Ever. Imagine an overweight chick wearing a pair of stretch bootleg hipster pants and a stretch singlet that’s ridden up above her hips. Ok, now with that image, imagine what she’d look like if she’d had an inflatable ring pool toy implanted under the skin around her hips. Try and imagine how huge this would make her arse. Her bum stuck out so much that she could have put a row of beer bottles on it.

She had one dancing technique – she would put one or both of her hands up and gyrate her hips. Around and around her enormous bum rotated while her huge upper arms wobbled in unison. She seemed to only be able to manage about 30 seconds of dancing before she had to stop and rest, but it was enough to make people applaud. Conversations stopped, a few people threw coins in her directions, and other people joined her in front of the stage and danced.

The next band was called Slide, or something like that. They consisted of a drummer (who was also the evening’s organiser), a bass players and a didgeridoo/keyboard/saxophone player. They had formed the day before. They played three songs. The first two were jams, about eight minutes long each. Then they played a shorter song, that was about five minutes long. Actually, there may have been another song somewhere in there. Then the drummer/organiser made a speech thanking all the sponsors. While he was doing that, 11.59 became 00.00. A bit later he checked his watch and said happy new year and told everyone to have a party, as he apparently hadn’t been able to organise one himself. It was really disappointing. I mean, it’s not like there’s a shortage of good local bands who could have played there.

A few fireworks were let off, drunken people wandered the streets. Walking back to the car I heard a girl say, “Oh my God! I’m going to be 24 this year!”

“Ha,” I said to my brother. “I’m going to be 30!”

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