Cheese is evil

I’d heard about cheese nightmares. A friend of mine claimed that if he had cheese before he went to bed he’d end up having really freaky nightmares, but I didn’t think too much about it.

Last night I was lying in bed trying to get to sleep. I was sort of in a half awake, half asleep state. I was thinking about various things, and sometimes my thoughts turned into dreams. I was thinking about walking along the side of a harbour. Suddenly Christopher Walken appeared in my dream and his face suddenly became hideously disfigured.

The cheese!

About two hours before I went to bed I’d had a fairly small about – only about 25 grams – of Kapiti gouda with cumin seeds. It was messing with my head!

I lay in bed wondering what to do. Every time I closed my eyes I kept experiencing weird sensations. I decided that the best antidote for this evil cheese was some berries. I trudged into the kitchen and finished off the blueberries, raspberries and boysenberries in the fridge then got back into bed.

The weird dreams stopped.

I have decided that cheese will no longer play an active part my diet.

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