I keep getting these spam emails trying to entice me to purchase pharmaceuticals that I have no use for. After getting approximately 5,932 emails in one day for an alleged impotence aid called v1ag@rA, I decided to contact the v1ag@rA sellers and find out more about their product. They sent me back this list of frequently asked questions. Needless to say, I’ve placed my order.
Q. what’s this “v1ag@rA” stuff????
A. it help u if u have problemz
Q. Will v1ag@rA cause my pipi to shrivel up and fall off?
Q. can i take five v1ag@rA and go out and do big phat lines of coke and have hot sex with random strangers????
A. invite me too!!!!!
Q. MY WIFE IS AN UGLY HOBAG. SHE HAS FIVE BLACK HAIRS GROWING UNDER HER CHIN. WHENEVER I TRY TO MAKE LOVE WITH HER I FEEL NAUSEOUS. WILL v1ag@rA HELP ME?????
A. No, but if u have any n00die pic of her email them 2 me thx
Q. Who should not take v1ag@rA?
A. if u have heard rumours that u should not take it, that is just JEALOUS HATERS who are just jealous and are being haters and are suffering from tall poppy syndrome so you should not listen to them!!!!
Q. i heard that if u douche with a crushed up v1ag@rA mixed with a pepsi that u won’t get pregnant. is this true?
A. no. u have 2 use diet coke
Q. how often shOULD I TAKE v1ag@rA?
A. as often as u like but if ur doing low carb diet u wont be able 2 take them at all lol
Q. my manhood was tragically lost in a boating accident in 1987. can v1ag@rA help me? (please say yes – you are my last hope!!!).
Q. Three months ago I ordered some v1ag@rA. When the package I arrived I was shocked to find what looked like blue jelly beans that had been squashed into a diamond shape. But I took four of them and enjoyed a month-long erection. Is this normal?
A. no. pls send pics
Q. What you mean its not normal? Should I see a doctor or what?
A. pls send pics so our internationally qualified “doctor” can assess the state of your penis. can u please make sure that u trim first and oil it up a bit too pls. also note that “doctor” is not recognised in five US states.
Q. my fiancee and i are planning on honeymooning at the beautiful n1ag@rA f@1lz.
A. pls note v1ag@rA should not be used within 52 hours of a traditional wedding ceremony
Q. Is it “safe” to take “v1ag@rA” with “alcoholic beverages”?
A. “yes” “lol”
Q. how duz v1ag@rA werk??????
A. lol we’re still trying to figure that out!!!!! lolz!!!!!!
Q. IM NOT HAPPY!! FIVE MONTHS LATER AND I STILL HAVEN’T SCORED WITH ANY HOT CHICKS!!! WTF??!! I’M NOT WASTING MY $$$$ ON THIS CRAP ANYMORE!!!
A. ok fine be like that mr limp dick
Q. i accidentally gave one v1ag@rA to my cat. he wouldn’t stop licking it. why doesn’t this happen to me?
A. because ur dick is 2 small
Q. What clinical studies of v1ag@rA have been done?
A. my my u do ask a lot of q’s lol how would “3 free v1ag@rAs” sound to u? would that stop u asking all these q’s mr busyboy????