City ‘tang

I made an investigative visit to the new Foodtown on Quay Street tonight. It’s the “Auckland City” store, so I suspect it’s got a bit of the old flagship status, showing the world the might of the Foodtang.

Within moments of entering the store I realised that this Foodtown was being everything to everyone.

Nearby officer workers, who think they’re too busy to cook, can pick up ready meals. There’s, like, an entire aisle of ready meals. They look pretty gross, like cold leftovers, but all around the city people are biffing them in a microwave and convincing themselves it’s quicker, easier and somehow more satisfying than, say, making a ham and cheese omelette.

The suburb-worth of international students who live in the inner city can purchase a large selection of Asian snack foods, including about a dozen different varieties of Pocky. Of course, there’s still no beating the Japanese supermarket on Anzac Ave (100 chopsticks for $3, or something like that, yo).

Nearby Parnell residents, who may feel that olive oil is too bourgeois to be legitimately included in their pantries, can explore such gourmet alternatives as olive oil infusions and this olive oil with butter added. Yeah, that’s right. People who have switched from frying in butter to olive oil to cut down on those pesky saturated fats, can now fry up in this butter-olive oil that’s 45% saturated fat. Why not just use butter? (Why, why, why?)

There’s also a “Wellbeing” section that has junk food for people who have (real or wannabe) food allergies or sensitivities. Yes, all those who wish to lead a gluten-free or low-carb lifestyle can be well as they sit around the house eating chocolate chip cookies,

Fortunately there were dirty old refried beans for sale, so there will be porno bean dip on the menu this week.

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