There’s this thing about how large shops put a lot of science behind the in-store music. Tunes are picked to quicken the pace during the busy times, and to inspire during quieter times.
Today I stopped in to Foodtang to pick up some toilet paper. It was very ordinary, very Thursday morning. A young woman spent so much time picking a basket that her boyfriend mistakenly started a conversation with the woman who’d walked in behind him, before stopping in embarrassment. A gesticulating woman near the meat department hit my shoulder as she pointed without looking where she was going. “Have you got a Foodtown card,” the checkout operator asked me as I had only just started to unzip my bag. As I was leaving the store I noticed David Hartnell waiting at the information desk, clutching a Louis Vuitton manbag.
Then I realised what song had been playing the whole time I’d been in the supermarket. It was the Talking Heads’ ode to nihilism, “Road to Nowhere.”
From this point on, something has to change.