Are you happy now?

In the last couple of weeks or so, I have:

Inadvertently revealed that unbeknownst to him, his record company or manager, NZ Idol runner-up Michael Murphy’s debut single was not an original, having previously been released by a Texan rock band
This lead to a bit of shock and controversy and I was named in the Christchurch Press as having conducted an “in-depth investigation” when in fact it was about 10 minutes of Googling. Various Michael Murphy fans have expressed anger that I should want to ruin Murphy’s life by exposing this, but I plead ignorance; I didn’t know it was being touted as an original. Murphy’s manager, Paul Ellis, is being all like “I don’t care. It’s original in New Zealand.” But I like to think that he cried himself to sleep at least once this week.

Bought several bottles of Fanta Lite
Fanta has relaunched its range. Specially, it’s bunged 5% fruit in Fanta so that it can now be legally called a “fruit drink” as opposed to a “radioactive orange beverage that will make your kids freak out and throw stuff around and kick a hole in the wall”. There’s also a diet version cleverly named Fanta Lite. I remember there being a Diet Fanta a few years ago, but the one time I tried it, it was unsatisfyingly watery. But artificial sweetener technology has improved and now Fanta Lite tastes ok. If you’re a little partial to that electric orange flavour, but don’t want the maddening sweetness, then Fanta Lite may serve your needs.

Evesdropped on ordinary conversations after being set that as homework
I’m doing this continuing education course at Auckland Uni on New Zealand English. It’s bloody interesting. In a total noodle-baking revelation, the course taker asked us how often we here people speak languages like Chinese, Indian, French, etc, in a place like a supermarket (Quite often), then how often we hear Maori spoken in such a place (Uh… never?). And it’s true. Unlike in place such as Samoa where Samoan is the language kids learn from their parents, and English is the language learned later at school, it seems that in New Zealand it’s the other way around. For many Maori people the Maori language is their second language, and it’s usually only used for formal occasions, not for ordinary uses, like asking, “Shall we get fruit of the forest or strawberry yoghurt?”

Attended the Visionary Living show and was almost bored shitless
It was like the Holistic Health Fair thing I went to in Hamilton a couple of years ago, but bigger and more tedious. There were about half a dozen bottled water merchants giving out samples of their fare, but it was pleasing to see Metrowater were also there, pimping their fine product. I appear to have acquired a brochure for something called Noni juice, which sounds like a euphemism for, uh, yeah. I also have acquired a brochure from some enema clinic. Discussing the enema machine, it reveals, “Modern Jimmy John III is a fully self-contained, odourless, gravity-controlled lower bowel evacuation device.” Jimmy John III? Excuse me, I’m not having my bum hosed out by a piece of equipment that sounds like a Hillbilly.

Become a huge fan of that ad of that piece of exercise equipment that is filmed in mall
Specifically I dig the lady with the really big arse. She says something like, “I can use this while I watch Hi-5.” Then catches herself and quickly corrects, “While my son watches Hi-5”. The action then cuts to a long shot of her using the equipment. The camera is essentially at crotch-level, so right in the middle of the screen is her spectacularly huge wide arse and thighs moving from side to side as she uses the equipment.

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