Spin

The Herald on Sunday had an article today about the so-called man drought. You know, the bit where single gals complain about how there ain’t no single fellas around no more.

The man drought meme started last year with a report from KPMG that revealed that there were 24,000 more 30-something women than men in New Zealand.

The report also included the deliciously alarming fact that, “A 32-year old Kiwi woman in 2004 had as much chance of finding a male partner her own age as did an 82-year old woman.”

The blame was put on men leaving for overseas (not Australia – it too has a similar situation) and not returning, or returning having married a foreign lady. Tsk Tsk.

The Herald on Sunday’s covergirl is a 22-year-old make-up retailer who says, “There are just no guys around. There’s a definite drought.” She and her “gorgeous and smart” co-workers have all noticed this.

And, even more tragically, it appears that the single guys out there aren’t up to scratch: “They need to have good taste in music … and shoes. They have to have the whole package, and they rarely do.”

Oh no! If a pretty 22-year-old shopgirl can’t get a boyfriend, what hope do I have?

Then an older woman (40), who is dating a divorced man, offers up some advice to the younger generation: “If you find someone, go for it. Don’t muck about. Get in quick”.

She also notes that, “A lot of my single girlfriends are really beautiful, intelligent girls, nothing wrong with them. But they just can’t find a man. [The men are] all taken or else total geeks.”

Now, I know more than a few geeks. Some single, but many of whom are in long-term relationships with really lovely women. And funnily enough, many of these geek guys wouldn’t want to date one of these “beautiful and intelligent girls” simply because if you’re going to, say, curl up on the couch with your loved one and watch season two of Buffy, you want to do it with someone who doesn’t think it’s juvenile nonsense.

When I think about all the 30-something serious couples I know of, it’s mainly people who started going out when they when in their 20s. And talking to the single 30-something guys I know (and I know quite a few, and some fairly hot ones too, as it happens), none of them seem really all that desperate to get paired-up, and especially not with the sort of lady who is openly desperate and complains about there being a man drought, no good men available, and biological clocks, etc. Not many guys want to feel like a “oh, he’ll do” boyfriend or glorified sperm donor.

But with single women, I really think it all comes down to perspective. You can get all miserable about there being not enough blokes out there and, oh, what an awful, bleak, lonely life awaits, and how your barren womb will ache. But what if you don’t take that attitude? What if you accept the possibility of never marrying and of being single forever, and instead focus your life around all the positive aspects of that, rather than the negatives?

It’s a situation that looks like will be a reality for many New Zealand woman, but just because you end up single, doesn’t mean you have to be a miserable old maid with 12 cats. Get out there and enjoy things. Spinster 4 life, yo.

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