Page 123, prescription drug abuse

The Page 123 meme was flying around LiveJournal tonight and I was tagged twice. Demands were made that I ought to…

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag 5 people.

I was at work when I first read it and tried to have a go during my break. The nearest book to me was the Concise Oxford Dictionary, but while page 123 offered much in the way of words, it didn’t really do sentences.

I wandered off to find the next suitable book that came my way. Time Atlas, no. Maori dictionary, no. Trinny and Susannah’s “What You Wear Can Change Your Life”, er, OK. Except page 123 of that was a picture of the pair wearing nice clothes.

So at home I tried again. The nearest book was “We Could Have Been The Wombles: The Weird and Wonderful World of One Hit Wonders”. It sounds like, right, it could be a goldmine of choice sentences. Except page 123 offered up these three sentences:

Bud. Wise. Er.

This is an absolute shemozzle.

Instead I will muse upon the news that Robbie Williams has checked himself into rehab for addiction to prescription medicine.

Now, I’m not a Robbie fan in the traditional sense, but I bought his last album, Rudebox (and it’s really good, in a born-in-1974 kind of way).

One of songs is called Good Doctor, and it’s a cheerful, yet slightly dark, celebration of abusing prescription medicine. The song ends with this spoken bit:

Know what, doc? It’s not like I’ve been doing any research or anything, but if you could give me any of the following pills, I’d be very very grateful cos I feel poorly. So that’s codeine, morphine, opium, methadone, meperidine, hydro- and oxycodone, buprenorphine, butorphanol, Adderall, Doral. But not St John’s wort, cos I can get that at Boots.

See, Dr House is addicted to Vicodin, but he has a gammy leg and is a fictional character. Now, I’m not a doctor, but having just looked up all those drugs on Wikipedia, I can officially state that if you are a real person and write a song about desiring a shitload of powerful opiates, then rehab is probably a good choice.

Leave a Reply