I hate fax machines. Anyone using one should stop immediately. I thought they stopped making them in 1997, but it turns out that people actually still use them in this modern age.
Once I rang up my bank – which prides itself on its technological innovations – with a query. The call centre guy offered to fax me the information. I was like, “WTF? Has this phone call gone down a wormhole into 1986? Are you going to fax me information about the new GST tax that’s going to simplify sales tax for New Zealanders?”
I know that ’80s retro stuff is in vogue at the moment, but fax machines are not part of this.
I got on the subject of faxes when I was looking at videos of Sinead O’Connor* on YouTube. I found a totally awesome clip of her singing Mandinka at the 1989 Grammys, but I was distracted by Billy Crystal’s introduction. He starts with, “If any of the winners are not here, we’re going to fax them their Grammys.” In 1989 this was hilarious because faxing was new and novel.
But it’s now the new millennium. It’s the future. We live in plastic houses and housewives heat up readymade meals in their Food-o-matic 2000 machines. We have the email and the interweb and therefore there is no need for faxing.
* I was comparing and contrasting Ms O’Connor with another famous addition to the lady baldo club. Coming soon, if I come to a logical conclusion.