CSU

So, wasn’t the 2007 Budget, like, really awesome? I find myself rather excited about the bonus money going into KiwiSaver (which I’m going to spend on a plasma TV I’ve carefully disguised as a humble suburban house).

But what got me the most excited was news of the establishment of the news Coronial Services Unit. This is cool for three reasons.

a) Coronial sounds like “colonial” pronounced by someone whose native tongue has no separate sounds for R and L. This in turn brings up the idea of a “colonial services unit”, which sounds like something that would be in existence if the British Empire was still mighty and powerful today. The Colonial Services Unit would ensure there was enough tea in the empire.

b) Coronial Services Unit can be shorted to CSU, which makes it sound like an elite crime-fighting unit that could (should?) have an action/drama series made about the hard-working men and women behind CSU. Then there could be a spin-off called CSU: Auckland. Oh no – a man fell off a boat and drowned… or did he? It’s time for the team at CSU to hold an inquest and issue a decision! Then a rogue coroner can be called into the Chief Coroner’s office. It’ll be like Quincy, only better, cos it will be called CSU.

c) The example of the Los Angeles Country Coroner could be followed, with a range of Coronial Services Unit/CSU merchandise. Think how awesome you would look in an pre-shrunk, 100% cotton CSU T-shirt!

All this from one budget! Those people who complain about petrol tax and threaten to move to dry old Australia, they just don’t know how good they’ve got it.

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