It looks like it was time for me to receive the biannual unwanted solicitous phone call from the children’s hospital radio station thing fund-raisers.
See, generally speaking, I intensely dislike making and receiving phone calls. I don’t know why, but it’s been like this my whole life.
So if I get a phone call that’s someone trying to get me to buy something, be it charity donations or some dodgy mortgage seminar, I don’t take to it kindly, and try to at least make it entertaining for myself.
So, there I was, relaxing on the couch, watching edited highlights of UK Big Brother on YouTube, when I got a phone call. It went like this:
Caller: Hi, I’m calling in behalf of [children’s hospital radio station thing]. Have you heard of us?
The caller was probably probably following a script that expected my answer to have been no, because then she said:
Caller: It’s a non-profit children’s hospital radio station.
Me: Yep, that’s right.
She paused, which made me think no one had responded like this before.
Caller: Well, we’re currently selling tickets for a musical in August. All proceeds will go directly to helping the children. Are you interested in buying a ticket?
I paused and then said:
It was a long, drawn-out, slightly suspicious sounding no. Or at least that’s what I was aiming for.
Caller: Ok, well is it all right if I phone you back in August closer to the date to see if you’ve changed your mind?
What? Does she think I will have grown a tolerance for annoying phone calls and have a newly acquired appreciation for amateur dramatics?
Caller: Um, ok, then. Goodbye.
Me: [In the happinest sunshine voice I could muster] Bye!!!!!11one <3 <3
I’m so glad that other charities don’t use this approach.