What You’re Lookin’ For II: Referer Madness

Another quiet weekend, so it’s time to take another look in my referer logs to see what people have been searching for that’s lead them here.

free tame iti t-shirt
This search showed up the day after the police raids and his arrest. If you’re looking for a T-shirt that urgently, you’re better off fashioning one yourself – retro old-school punk style! Just get your Supre “It’s All About House” T-shirt, turn it inside out, get a black Vivid and write “FREE TAME ITI” on it. You can also customise it by sewing on rick-rack, feathers and funky buttons!

a lady that got took to hell and showed her the passage and how it is going to be
I like to think that the person searching for this was actually expecting to find someone’s blog giving a first-hand account of this. ‘And I was like, “Oh my gosh! Where am I?!” And Satan was all “Say hello to Hell, bitch!” And I was all, “Man, this sucks!”‘

anton oliver and robyn
OMG! Our secret love is secret no longer!

inhaling exit mould
See, life is a gift that God has given us, and you should consider that life as precious and you should not abuse yourself in that life by inhaling Exit Mould. And besides, it’s just bleach. You can’t get high off it. I know – I tried!

rhymes on trouble
Here’s a question – yo, what rhymes with trouble?
Like when you’re lying in a bath filled with bubbles
and you consider space, like Edwin Hubble.
Here’s two more so our tally will double.
I dig the Flintstones and Barney Rubble.
Come here, boy, and let me feel your stubble.
Peace.

booze hag quiz
As the internet apparently cannot provide this, I have scientifically formulated a quiz to determine booze-hagosity:

Q1. do u like 2 drink lot’s???
Q2. when u get drunk do u get all dishevelled and does ur hair get in ur face and u spill drink on ur dress and stuff like that???
A. if u answered “YES” to Q1 and Q2, then ur a booze hag!!!!! me too!!!kewl – u shld come over!!!

cops asian mullet angry
I can understand why someone would search for two or three of these words together, but all four takes us on a journey right into the heartland of WTFness.

secrets of charming man
Ok, this is what you need to do. Get on a bicycle and go for a ride in the countryside. At the top of a hill, ride over something sharp so you get a puncture. Then after a while a charming man will come and give you a ride, and while you’re there in the passenger seat, you can quiz him on his secrets. But I’ll warn you now – he’ll probably think it’s gruesome that someone so handsome should care.

stop her boobs
Someone, do something! Quickly! Well, I mean, at the moment they’re just sitting there in her bra under her shirt, but, I swear, if someone doesn’t do something soon, they’ll start demanding the right to bear weapons and then they’ll start their own people’s revo-boob-tionary army! It’s got to stop.

Addendum:

if i do something obvious will i still get on your referrer list?
Nah, I probably wouldn’t even notice it, let alone blog about it.

7 thoughts on “What You’re Lookin’ For II: Referer Madness”

  1. That one reminds me of a really weird thing that happened to me in Borders a few years ago.

    I needed to search for a book on their computer, which was being used by another customer, so I queued her.

    But she wasn’t searching for a book title*. She was typing really weird stuff like “oh jesus why did you let the father come in the night he touched me and raped me and stole my innocence leaving me soiled sweet god why does this satan come into my life…” Etc. It was this big long line of text being typed in the tiny little title input box.

    I just stood there, not really knowing what to do. She eventually realised I was standing there, and said, cheerfully, “Oh, sorry,” deleted the text and left.

    * But I could be wrong. Perhaps there is a book with this title.

  2. I’m getting a lot more hits from people searching for information on the fab couple, including one search for “Anton luvs Robin”. What are they expecting? A repository of secret love txts?

  3. If they are, perhaps you could write ’em? After all, Mr. Oliver is a man of rhetoric–“stench of death” in the changing rooms, post-loss, for example–and Ms. Malcolm has been known to opine to the women’s magazines on the odd matter personal: couldn’t such snippets lend themselves to an imaginary txt-romance?

    Anton: IcnsmlldastenchofDEATH
    Robyn: did u put ur sox in da wash

    etc.

  4. Ha ha, Harvestbird, v good. That “stench of death” quote made me swoon with nausea. Melodrama! Please – a lost game of rugger hardly rates up there with the killing fields of war. What a ning-nong.

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