Happy Panda Lucky Karaoke Fun Pie

Happy Panda Lucky Karaoke Fun Pie (Or, Hints and Tips for Successful Modern Karaoke-ing)

  • When the night’s getting on and your voice is starting to get a little hoarse (pony!!!), go for the punk. Singing “Anarchy In The UK” or “Lust For Life” is much easier to sing than anything with one of those melody things.
  • But don’t try to match your hoarse voice with “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. Yeah, Bonnie Tyler sounds like she gargles gravel, but she can sang, yo. You’ll get about 25%, if you’re lucky. The rest will sound like you have throat cancer.
  • Don’t pick a song because it’s the theme tune to your favourite James Bond movie (“Live and Let Die”) and because there’s a cool jazzy version of it in the movie. Cos the karaoke machine will, of course, have the Paul McCartney and Wings version, which is an overwrought crapstravaganza. And what sort of lyric is “If this ever changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry…”?
  • If you got attitude, it don’t matter if you can’t sing, man. Pick a song that you like and belt it out. If the karaoke machine is half-decent, it’ll add some subtle effects that’ll help even out the crap.
  • If the Deftones “Shove It (My Own Summer)” is on the list, and if you have a pal that you can sing it with, don’t. Cos even though it’s really fun to scream your arse off, your audience will hate you very quickly.
  • If someone picks “Under Pressure”, everyone will think it’s SingStar time and start rapping “Ice Ice Baby”. Bonus points to anyone who can rap the whole thing.
  • Don’t do “Wannabe”. The rapping bit is really fast and the singing is high. The Spice Girls make it look far too easy. (Wot, you mean you actually have to be able to sing properly to be a Spice Girl, etc.)
  • Avoid songs with long instrumental breaks (re “Live and Let Die”). Cos while the soundalike karaoke track is going off on the instrumental, you’ll just end up standing there with the microphone. All attempts to dance will make you look like a dad.
  • Make sure you actually know the song before you attempt to sing it. Nothing is quite as lolz-inducing to your fellow karaokers as you rewriting the first verse as “Rising up, back on the street… Um, I don’t actually know how this bit goes. Uh…”
  • It’s quite fun to do Nsync’s “It’s Gonna Be Me”, cos you get to do all the me’s as “maaaay”. You can flush out all the closeted Nsync fans who’ll be secretly singing along.

Photo courtesy of beguilejapan‘s Flickr stream.

5 thoughts on “Happy Panda Lucky Karaoke Fun Pie”

  1. There was Nsync? Woah.

    Also, if I was evil, I would unleash that video on the world of Sinead. But it would be worser for me, so I won’t.

  2. Don’t pick a song because it’s the theme tune to your favourite James Bond movie (”Live and Let Die”) and because there’s a cool jazzy version of it in the movie. Cos the karaoke machine will, of course, have the Paul McCartney and Wings version, which is an overwrought crapstravaganza.

    Oi! The Paul McCartney and Wings version is the one in the movie! Not that it is my fave Bond film, I really didn’t think much of the Bonds between Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan. The Connery ones are still very good, we watched Dr No the other night and it has stood the test of time very well.

  3. Oi! The Paul McCartney and Wings version is the one in the movie!

    Oh, what I meant is don’t pick it based on the one decent version of the song that appears in the movie, because the most popular version will be the one on the karaoke machine.

    I like “Live and Let Die” cos it’s the blaxploitation/voodoo Bond. That and Moore’s final Bond film, “A View To A Kill” are really all anyone needs in the Moore/Bond oeuvre.

  4. Belatedly: I think it might be ‘this ever-changing world in which *we’re living*’. Although it’s not as if Paul has ever really dedicated himself to grammatical accuracy, lyrics-wise, because he is a hopeless stoner. So it could be ‘in which we live in’ too…

  5. If you got attitude, it don’t matter if you can’t sing, man.

    In my limited experience of the empty orchestra, people who can sing really, really well are no fun. Their good performance leads to your heightened performance anxiety. Heighened performance anxiety leads to blanking on song. Blanking on song leads to horrible noises and self-esteem destroying mockery. That way lies the dark side, youngling.

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