I have been preparing for my impending tropical island fun-in-the-sun holiday in New Caledonia in a number of ways.
I purchased Fodor’s Guide to Australia, New Zealand and the South Pacific (1979) at the Book Fair for $2. It has a little section on New Caledonia, which notes “the air is full of tangos and stirring marches”, you may see “ferry crowded with outer islanders in a dazzle of gay muumuus” and Anse Vata beach is “where topless French and Australian beauties expose their assets with delicious nonchalance”. This is where I’m staying!!!! Woo-hoo – naked Australians!!! (?)
I also decided to get with the new millennium and buy the latest Lonely Planet guide, which also includes Vanuatu. I have now concluded that I should have actually gone to Vanuatu because a) the weird John Frum cargo cult, celebrating 50 years of waiting for the man in the steel bird who will bring Lucky Strikes and Glen Miller LPs to the village, and b) the bislama pidgin. I can’t be bothered brushing up on my high-school French, but I would happily learn to say things like “Hamas I blong wan naet?” (“How much I belong one night?” or “How much is it per night?”). Though I have memorised this phrase en francais, “Donnez-moi le vin et le fromage.” Awesome.
My holiday will also involve a very brief visit to Auckland – just a brief stopover before my flight to NC. I was thinking about going earlier in the day, but somehow I’m don’t feel quite ready to go back to central Auckland just yet. I wonder why.
The weather today in Wellington has been cold and grey and rainy, which is excellent. Hopefully this will mean that when I touch down at Tontouta airport, the warm tropical weather will seem all that extra bit more appealing.
And I’m trying to figure out what to do about the sun. See, I don’t like the sun. I burn easily. It’s much easier for me to have all-over pale than take one of the two choices on offer to Pakehas who want darker skin – zebra stripes from tanning or that orange hue of fake tan. So I’m going to try to not get any sun, but it might be hard.
Hopefully I can find some sort of cafe de internet thing when I’m there. Cos I’ll tell you what – I can’t do relaxing holidays. If I go somewhere, I must explore.