Things I have discovered about people I went to school with, based on about an hour snooping around on Facebook

  • A strangely large number of people have at some point had a profile pic of them looking all fancy at the races.
  • It’s an odd experience to see a photo of a bald, wrinkled man with a weird moustache and to think, “He used to be so beautiful when he was 16.”
  • Pretty much all the hot guys are no longer hot. They’ve either turned into boofhead sports dudes or have just got nerdy around the edges.
  • The weird girl with the mousy brown hair now has luxuriant blonde tresses.
  • Women whose profile pic is them and their dog = single.
  • Lots of people are Facebook friends with the cooldude music teacher.
  • Whoa, my primary school friend’s sister had a party where everyone came in blackface! Arrgh!
  • Some people look older than others, but that’s mostly down to fashion rather than biology.
  • Hardcore Christians have lots of Facebook friends. As do people in showbiz.
  • As usual, the really interesting people are the ones who aren’t on Facebook. (Or if they are, they’ve locked their account right down.)

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