Human Wikipedia

Wikipedia is currently blacked out in protest against SOPA. I decided to put my giant nerd brain to use on Twitter, offering to act as a human Wikipedia for anyone who was in need of some knowledge.

@robyngallagher If you need to know something on Wikipedia, ask me instead. I will make something up.

@petrajane I would like to know how waffles were invented.
@robyngallagher A punk guy was making pancakes. One fell on the floor and he was so angry he stamped on it with his Docs. Waffles were born.
@petrajane cheers! now how are you on 80s TV trivia?
@robyngallagher I have several PhDs in the subject.
@petrajane since Wikipedia is down I have no way to check how many PhDs you have, so tell me about celeb cameos in Punky Brewster kthx
@robyngallagher The most famous celebrity cameo in Punky Brewster was famous 1980s celebrity J. Murray Davidson.
@samuelfscott Was Punky Brewster better than Blossom?
@robyngallagher In the high stakes world of crazy child actor names, Soleil Moon Frye-up was beaten by Mayim Blahblahblah.

@fogonwater @clerestories wants to know where the French castle from the TV show Merlin is located. She tried to look it up but #SOPA!
@robyngallagher It is the Sleeping Beauty castle at Euro Disney without any makeup on.
@fogonwater Why do bad things happen to good people?
@robyngallagher That time in 1992 when the old lady tripped up outside the bank and the good person didn’t stop to help her? Karma remembers.

@teh_nipples Who is the prime minister of Australia?
@robyngallagher That ginger lady. She’s not even a real ginger. She dyes her hair to get the sunburnt ginger vote.
@teh_nipples What are the names of the Furies?
@robyngallagher Ronald, Kristen, Kirsten, Janine, Ronald Jr, Steve, Ahmed, Jean-Pierre, Furry, Barack, Flurry, Far-Out, Ronald III and Scott.
@teh_nipples Oh, sweet. I think Far-Out might be my favorite. Who is Far-Out?
@robyngallagher Far-Out is a juggler cum chef. Unfortunately I am on “safe browsing mode” can so cannot explain what a cum chef is.

@isaacfreeman Wikigallagher! Do people speak Swahili in South Sudan?
@robyngallagher They do, but it’s considered jive talk, the voice of the streets.
@isaacfreeman Wikigallagher! I am now interested in …jive“. What is the origin of this term?
@robyngallagher It is an acronym, which stands for Juice Is Very Evil, an ill-considered marketing slogan by the Milk Marketing Board.
@isaacfreeman Also, streets. What is the difference between a street and a road? #humanwikipedia
@robyngallagher A street is paved in bitumen, a road is paved in the hopes and dreams of an entire nation and bitumen.
@isaacfreeman Is bitumen edible?
@robyngallagher It is, but only when prepared using the most tender leaves of the bituma plant, steamed lightly and served lightly salted.
@isaacfreeman That word “tender”… how did it come to be used in the phrase “legal tender”? #humanwikipedia #freeassociation
@robyngallagher People think lawyers are horrible, but they actually have a tender side to them. Objection, Your Honour – not enough hugz!

@carolgreen Who is that bird on X-Factor Aus – the one who isn’t Mel B? Hits?
@robyngallagher Natalie Bascjdfgeocghmsgioaght.
@carolgreen Ah, I should have known. Is that a Latvian name?
@robyngallagher It is Lithuanian. Some of her relatives anglicised the name to Basilbrush, but her side of the family kept it.

@trench I just wanna hit ur random button.
@robyngallagher Combine harvester.
@trench I need a list of important events that happened on this day in the past. AND I NEED IT FAST.
@robyngallagher 1912: Horse startled by motorcar. 1945: Hitler makes hilarious YouTube video. 1962: Man says sexist comment to secretary.

Leave a Reply