Bejewelled

I never seem to have any luck buying jewellery from craft stalls. I always seem to buy stuff that looks cool on the stall, but when I get it and have a good look at it, I am horrified at what I’ve actually bought.

Example 1
I bought a hand-knotted bracelet. It was made from a natural fibre and had a few decorative beads knotted into it. It looked quirky and cool. When I got it home, I realised the beads were red, green and yellow. And the natural fibre – it was hemp. I’d accidentally bought stoner jewellery.

Example 2
It was a cute ring, with subtle bumps around it. I didn’t normally wear rings, but this one fit really well. I was really pleased with my find. But then I got home and looked at the ring from the side. The bumps were dolphins. A smiling line of dolphins were gaily swimming around the ring.

Both the ring and the bracelet were disposed of in a thoughtful manner.

So now if I’m at a craft fair, no matter how cool the jewellery seems, I will not buy it. Because the robot brooch will turn out to actually be a badge that says “I <3 bikes!” or the autumn leaf will actually be a comedy dog poo.

I am not willing to engage with the close inspection required of the world of jewellery, the need to analyse before purchase. It’s less stressful to be unadorned.

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