Fruity

1. Pineapple

Selling pineapples at Franklins fruit shop, corner of Queen Street, Auckland. Whites Aviation Ltd :Photographs. Ref: WA-11653-G. Alexander Turnbull Library, Wellington, New Zealand. http://natlib.govt.nz/records/23072683
Selling pineapples at Franklins fruit shop, corner of Queen Street, Auckland. Whites Aviation Ltd :Photographs. Ref: WA-11653-G. Alexander Turnbull Library, Wellington, New Zealand. http://natlib.govt.nz/records/23072683

I like pineapple as a fruit, but I also like portraits of pineapple. New Zealand doesn’t have a rich history of pineapple art, like Hawaii or Queensland, but there are still goodies to be found.

I had a delve into the collected archives of Digital New Zealand and have created a set of pineapple photos. This includes pineapple art and history from Te Papa, pineapple press from the Alexander Turnbull Library, and assorted pineapple propaganda from various region museums. My favourite is the 1947 photo of an aeroplane full of pineapples. They’re not in crates or anything – just a massage pile of pineapples inside an aeroplane.

2. Seagull

seagull

Sometimes Google Street View offers up random moments of wonder. Here’s the Stone Store at Kerikeri. It’s 180 years old and is the oldest stone building in New Zealand (the oldest building, Kemp House, is right behind it). On this occasion the Street View car captured a couple standing outside the building – man in relaxed travel clothing and a woman in a full-length dress, looking like a Brethrenette or some other variety of Christian that believes in modest dress.

But more importantly is the seagull. It doesn’t care that it’s in historic Northland or that it can’t see the lady’s tempting ankles. It’s just going for a sky-hoon, probably only concerned about food.

3. Secret Santa

I’ve signed up for the New Zealand Twitter Secret Santa now. This year it’s run NZ Post now with the twist that if you don’t sent a present, you won’t get one in return.

I did the Secret Santa in 2011. It was challenging. I didn’t get a present from whoever was supposed to send me one, and I had a bit of an experience trying to pick something for my Secret Santa recipient.

I looked at the Twitter account of my giftee and discovered a young woman who didn’t tweet much. But when she did tweet, it was about one of three topics:

  1. Photos of her and her mates out getting drunk.
  2. Offering to have sexual relations with Zayn from One Direction if he were to follow her on Twitter.
  3. Comments about how much she hated her job, friends, the woman at the petrol station, etc. She hated a lot of stuff.

What do you get someone who hates everything except booze and Zayn from 1D? Wanting some inspiration, I looked at her street on Google Maps. It offered no gift clues, but it was a brand new suburb full of McMansions, just like the street in the opening shots of Lorde’s “Royals” video, released a few months later. She was probably angry about that too.

In the end I picked up on one thing – she liked getting drunk. Well, she was angry about that too, but it seemed to be something that also gave her a tiny bit of pleasure. So I bought her some sort of cheap-arse party tumblers from a cheesy gift store.

She did not tweet about receiving her gift. But if she did, she probably would have been very angry about it.

This is breakdown town.
This is breakdown town.

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