Falling Over

One of the few pleasures in life is falling over when there is no one around to see you.

Or not so much as no one to see you stumble over that tree root, loose cobblestone or maybe just a misjudged step and go hurtling towards the ground, rather there not being someone who sees you fall and comments.

“Whoops!”

“Ouch! That much have hurt!”

“Oh dear!”

“Oh my God! Are you all right?!”

“Ha ha!”

Etc.

If you fall over in the presence of anyone, whether they are a friend or a complete stranger, they will probably make little comment, like the situation would somehow be incomplete without comment.

But to fall over when you are on your own, is a truly wonderful feeling.

Late one night I got home, parked my car a bit close to the edge than usual, got out took a few steps, tripped on the brick edging and fell over.

My elbows got scraped, my hands stung, my legs ached and my jeans got a bit gritty, but apart from that, after the initial shock, I was fine.

And I was all alone.

No one was around to make a little remark. No one to pretend to comment on my pain. No one to try and make me feel better, which of course is suggesting that falling over makes you feel bad. No one to have a conversation like, “Are you ok?” “Yes” “Are you sure?” “Yes” with.

I was alone, and damn, it felt good.

I suggest you all find a quiet, spot and fall over and just enjoy the moment.

Fragments

Think of this as a hippy commune for the various social drop-outs of my web page.

If it weren’t for this page they wouldn’t have a home.

Sonic

I got back in my car after returning a video and a really horrible song was on bFM. It was a folk song sung by a woman and the lyrics were like “Oh holy earth, born from the womb of the sacred earth mother, see the wilderness suckle from her breast” The song was making me sick so grabbed the nearest tape, which was one jammed under the accelerator, and shoved it in the stereo. It was “Firestarter” by the Prodigy and that was one of the most beautiful sonic moments I have ever experienced.

Holding Hands

I was walking in a mall type thing in Newmarket. Along came two rather styley looking young men holding hands. Admittedly that’s not a common site in Newmarket, but it was hardly bizarre. We passed and I continued walking along. Ahead of me was a man and a woman in their late 40s. They had stopped and were taking a good hard look at the couple, looking astonished and bemused. I felt rather superior.

Beastmaster

My
brother’s
BEASTMASTER
computer
is
r u n n i n g
~Linux~

What The Hell?

I got an email from some guy about one of my web pages. He asked me:

“What the hell are you talking about? And why would you write a page dedicated to something so small? I don’t want to make you mad or anything but I’m not sure what your trying to say on your page.”

Then gave me the URL of his and ended with a cheery “enjoy”. I could do a ranty rant about how dumb this email is, but I think it really speaks for itself.

He might not know what I’m trying to say. But I do.

Homework

When I was at tech one tutor gave us homework consisting of going around all the supermarkets in Hamilton and getting as much free stuff as possible.

At university homework consists of reading chapters of really boring books.

Wanktropolis

There’s this big ass building thing called “Metropolis” being built in Auckland, the city where I reside. So Bayleys, the people in charge of Metropolis took out a full page ad in the 15 March Saturday edition of the New Zealand Herald saying how fabulous Metropolis is.

I read the ad and the first thing that occurred to me is what a wanky load of bollocks they were talking. Here is what pissed me off.

The ad first spouts about how the ancient Greeks built the Parthenon on a high place where it was a central part of cultured life and how great minds used to hang out there and do great things at the “hub of the civilised world”. Then it talks about Metropolis.

“Not surprisingly, when we sat around philosophising about the perfect site for New Zealand’s first five-star apartment hotel, we took a tablet or two from their book.

“For a start, our location also had to be in the very heart of the city. Ideally, it should be set amidst natural beauty, yet a stone’s throw from where all the action is.

“It should be a breath-taking focal point around which poets, artisans and luminaries would gather freely to debate the salient issues of the day. It should be accessible to great coffee (one area where we have it all over the ancient Greeks).”

That last paragraph, particularly, makes me almost violently ill because it is such a load of crap. So they really think the all these “poets, artisans and luminaries” are going to hang out in their little building and talk about the “salient issues of the day?”. And they’d be drinking their coffee, which is more than a sign of western civilisation, it’s a state of mind blah blah blah.

The ad also mentions that the site borders “stately Albert Park”. Stately? The last time I was in Albert Park it was full of people with tattoos, piercings, and lovely young men and women playing in the “stately” fountain. That’d raise property values…

I think the Metropolis ad is such a huge load of crap that it should be renamed “wanktropolis” to more accurately reflect what it really is.