Romantic rights

On the way back from Masterton, while passing through Upper Hutt, I spied one of the Tui “Yeah right” billboards, It mentioned something about a 35-year-old woman. “Hey,” I thought. “I am a 35-year-old woman. Perhaps this is relevant to my interests.”

I didn’t want to have to go back to Upper Hutt to check out the billboard in full, but thankfully Tui have a Twitter account where all the latest billboard slogans are tooted. It was there I found this:

Single woman, 35 y/o, attractive, great personality, with no issues. Yeah Right.

As soon as I read it I felt tears spring to my eyes. “Aue,” I wailed. “I am single, 35 years old, not conventionally attractive, with a rubbish personality, and many many issues! How will I ever find a Tui-drinking partner in the 18-35 demographic?”

After spending the entire day in bed eating supermarket pick ‘n’ mix sweeties and watching season five of “Sex and the City” on my VCR, I slowly came to my senses.

I realised that pretty much all my friends who are “single” (worst concept ever) and over the age of 30 do have issues. But this is what makes them who they are. We can’t all be ironed out into flawless robots of perfection. Sometimes it’s nice to be a little bit messed up, to have that grit in your oyster.

Maybe there are Tui-drinkers who see that billboard and nod sagely, “Bro, that happened to me. She was a hot older woman, but she turned out to be a nutter.”

That Tui billboard exists in a different universe to me. I don’t have to worry about what Tui-drinkers in the 18-35 demographic think of me as a single 35-year-old woman, because I just don’t play that game.