Part One: Masculine Conditioning

I was in the supermarket attempting to buy food, but after trying for over three months and not being particularly successful, I was looking in the aisle with non-edible goods, including shampoo.

I saw the Schwarzkopf range. All the bottles are grey, but have different coloured lids for the different types of shampoo. My attention was caught by a bottle with a black lid. Had Schwarzkopf decided to target the goth haircare market?

Looking at the label revealed that it was not goths, but men that were being targeted. The shampoo appeared to be a two-in-one because it had “masculine conditioning” on the label.

“Masculine conditioning”? Well, there are physical differences between men and woman, but when it comes down to the basics, men and women are practically identical. Like if you were to find a finger bone, you wouldn’t be able to tell if it was male or female.

The same goes for hair, hair is hair. Fine hair on women is the same as fine hair on men. Permed or coloured-treated hair is gender exclusive. So what the hell is “masculine conditioning”.

I am really tempted to to buy a bottle and see what it does to my hair. Would my hair suddenly look like guy’s hair? Would people think I was a guy? I must know!

Part Two: Dandruff

Skin is acidic, most detergents i.e. shampoos are alkalinic. What this means is the alkalinity of shampoo can irritate the skin and cause dandruff.

To stop this you can go to the extremes of using a special anti-dandruff shampoo or simply rinsing your hair with vinegar. But anyway, I noticed that my scalp had started to get irritated, so I did some research.

I found a brand of shampoo called KMS that claimed that all their shampoos were pH balanced. I thought that probably meant they just stuck some citric acid in. I checked the label, I was right. But after using the shampoo a few times my scalp calmed down. I probably could have made some sort of home-made cure, but I don’t want to mess around with stuff when I’m half asleep in the shower.

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