ITEM: I saw a political campaign sign being erected today. This surprised me because I always thought they were put up in the dead of night. (Oooh…) But walking home I saw three blokes struggling with getting a wooden frame vertical. Wanna know which party they were representing? Destiny. They were wisely not going for an Epsom electorate vote, just pushing for a party vote. But I refuse on principle to vote for any party with a name like the baby of a teenage mother.

ITEM: My neighbour is having an affair with a woman who is engaged to another man. The couple are Christians, but the fiance is more so than the fiancee, and refuses to have sex until they marry. The fiancee has needs and is getting those needs fulfilled through my neighbour. My neighbour is trying to not to fall in love with her, but, you know, it’s hard for him because he feels a connection. She says it can never be, as my neighbour is not a Christian. I learned this information on Saturday morning as I lay in bed doing sudokus while he told a mate the details of his love life right outside my bedroom window.

ITEM: Today at work I visited the place where all the video tapes are kept. It was interesting to see, but I secretly found myself getting excited at all the Lundia shelving. See, I have too many books and one little bookshelf and much of the floor around my flat to accommodate them. I regularly fantasise about having a wall full o’ lovely Lundia to put all my books in. Today was like a shelving porno dreamland.

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