But he wasn’t old

Peace 2 my dead homie Ol’ Dirty Bastard. He be up in heaven now with his peeps Tupac, Aaliyah, Jam Master Jay, Lisa Left-Eye, Notorious B.I.G and Karen Carpenter.

I’m kind of annoyed I crashed my car now. I did it a few weeks ago. It didn’t involve anything cool like bring drunk or high at the time, just a bit of the old two-second rule not being followed by me. So my car was rooted and I got an insurance pay-out instead and sold the remains of my automobile to the panel beater.

Curiously enough, I seem to be using public transport a lot less than I did when I had a car. I walk almost everywhere now. I can easily do a hearty 4km or so in any direction I desire without feeling like I’m going on a big ol’ walk. St Lukes, Newmarket, the city – easy as.

I thought going to the supermarket would be difficult, but I can stop off at the Foodtang on Quay Street after work then catch a bus home, or utilise my local shops (hey, I have local shops!).

Of course, not having a car means I can’t go for a good old fashioned hoon, and I do miss that. I like recreational driving and exploring all the suburbs of Auckland and the little towns and places north and south of the city.

And if I still had my car, not only would I be able to go hooning, but I’d be able to pay tribute to the ODB. I have this dream airbrush paint job for the bonnet of my old Daihatsu Charade, with ODB’s gold teef glinting in the sunshine as I drove out to Helenville.



Selwyn was hassling me about owing him a movie, so I offered to shout him to see “The Conversation” at the Academy as part of that film festival they’re having. He initially didn’t want to go because a) it was the Academy, complete with the really uncomfortable 1970s seats, and b) it was an old movie. As old as me, actually. But I reminded him that he was getting a free ticket and therefore was in no position to complain. Once we got there he saw a bunch of his classmates from film school, so he pretended that he’d wanted to go all along.

The movie started off being projected in the wrong shape, so everything was stretched out horizontally, but one of the film school nerds ran off and told them to fix it. There was applause once the picture snapped into the right shape.

It was really good seeing “The Conversation” up on a big screen. The print was clean and clear. Sound is really important in the film, however the theatre’s sound volume was just a little bit too loud, but I’m going to overlook that. After the film I did some film nerd stylez by reciting all the trivia I could remember from watching the DVD recently.

In the Big Brother eviction special, Gretel asked Irena what she missed most when she was in the house. Instead of saying her friends and family or coffee or any of the other usual responses, she said she missed driving. I know what that’s like. I got my car back today and it was just really good to get in it and drive. The oil light keeps flickering on and off. I suspect it’s a loose wire, as opposed to a problem with the oil. But it’s really freaky when it flicks on because when I’m driving and I suddenly see a red light, it sparks off a !!!! reaction.


Walking to work on Tuesday, I witnessed a truck hit a car. I don’t know what caused it to happen, but the truck, travelling in the right lane of two oncoming lanes, managed to side into a sports car in the left lane. The sports car hit a parked car, which hit the car in front of it, and that hit the car in front of it.

The first reaction came from a man who had been queuing at a nearby ATM. He clapped and said “Good one, guys.” That kind of reaction is appropriate when someone falls off a chair at school, but when there’s a woman sitting in a car with a truck smashed into it, it’s just dumb.

I went over to see if she was ok. She didn’t respond. I call 111 and reported the accident. Before any emergency services turned up, a large crowd gathered around the car. Everyone wanted to help in some way.

It was weird, almost vicious in the way that everyone seemed to want to help the woman out of the car. People were almost fighting to be the most helpful.

A teller from a nearby bank took her into the bank and sat her down. Soon ambulance, police and fire people came. I stuck around, thinking they might want to talk to me as I was right there when it happened, but no one seemed interested.

A guy with a mullet made a lengthy statement to some police officers. I said “I was right here when it happened. I saw it all,” to which mullet man replied, “Yes, I know.” Thank you, Self-Appointed Citizen Policing Unit Mullet Man.

The truck moved on, and tow trucks moved in to tow the car away. The woman whose car had been hit by the sports car was on the phone, “Hi, I’m going to be in a bit later today. I was at the Post Office and my car got hit by another car.”

I left the scene of the accident and walked on.

It was a very odd thing to witness, and it left me feeling surprisingly empty. Car crashes are boring to watch.