Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah yeah

Happiness and joy can be found in the mp3 of Nsync doing the a capella Bee Gees medley at the Grammys. When they do “How Deep It Your Love” it’s just brilliant.

MCC was good today. Today we confronted our bullshit. I’m loud and rude and obnoxious but I try to be really nice and polite and well-mannered around people. Arrgh! But the advice is to just ride with it, to not try and ignore the shit. Hey, cool.

I saw the Shrugs play at the Temple tonight. The sound wasn’t all that great, but the Shrugs put on a scorching show. It was big and loud and really bloody choice. Plus also and, all of the Shrugs are hot, and that is what makes rock roll. Yes, come down with me into the swamp. They’re playing tomorrow in Raggiz and I’m going to see them again.

Dirty Pop Saved My Soul

Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Nsync

When I was 16 years old, the age when most girls listen to music that they later regret, I had reasonably good taste. I was hip, I was cool, I was alternative. I listened to gangsta rap from groups like NWA, I’d wag school and go and hang out in the park with my friend listening to Sonic Youth on her Walkman. None of that teenage pop music for me, thank you very much.

Then ten years later I was in Sydney walking around Darling Harbour, doing a little bit of sight-seeing. I walked past the Imax theatre and something caught my eye. A large poster proclaimed “NSYNC: Bigger Than Live!”. Yes, that’s right. It was an Imax movie of an Nsync concert. This excited me, so the next day I went back and saw it and something changed in me.

I’d never really paid much attention to Nsync before. I’d had a passing interest in fellow boyband the Backstreet Boys, but the only thing about Nsync I knew was a few lines of choruses and that The Face magazine said they weren’t very charismatic.

But seeing that concert movie, seeing them singin’ and dancin’, I found myself liking them. Really, really liking them. This scared me. I tried to fight it, tried to deny it, but it was still there: Nsync excited me.

Back in Melbourne I was idly looking around in a record store. I found myself browsing in the “N” section. Somehow – and I don’t have any conscious recollection of doing this – I ended up buying “No Strings Attached”. That was going to be it, but a few hours later, in another record store, I found myself buying Nsync’s latest CD, “Celebrity”.

I listened to them both a lot. “No Strings Attached” has a few tracks which always get skipped, both ballads, one by Richard Marx, the other by Diane Warren. But other tracks delighted and even shocked me. One of my favourites is “Digital Get Down”. It’s a lame title, but the song is essentially about cybersex. The idea is that there’s this dude who lives away from his girlfriend and he watches her masturbating on her web cam. They also have phone sex. Try listening to that song in bed, in the dark, at night. It’s interesting.

I totally love “Celebrity”. There’s only one track I don’t like all that much, it’s a ballad with guest harmonica from Stevie Wonder (confirming that he’s never done anything good since the ’80s). But every other track is pure pop heaven. Even the big wedding ballad is ok. It’s dirty pop, a recently coined term to describe what I guess is pop music but with an edge (doesn’t that sound lame?).

On “Celebrity” Nsync have written or co-written over half the songs on the album and they don’t suck. One I really like is “Game Over,” which samples sounds from Pacman (how cool is that?). There’s also “Up Against The Wall” which is about seeing a fine young lady at a night club and humping her. There’s also “See Right Through You,” which includes the lyrics “These games they gotta stop/About to get pissed off”. Humping, moderately bad language, it’s all there.

Hey, I know all their names! There’s Justin (Britney’s boyfriend), JC (the really hot one), Lance (the serious one), Joey (the goofy one) and Chris (the funny one). Chris is my favourite. I think it’s important to have a favourite.

So it’s come to this. I’m 26 years old and I like Nsync. I sort of came out as an Nsync fan at Fray Day in Melbourne. I’m taking a further step here by again admitting my love for Nsync. I can not keep it a secret any longer.

It might be really uncool to admit this, but, hi, my name is Robyn and I am an Nsync fan.

Melbourne: Part Two – The Fold-Out Couch

A couple of months ago I decided to move to Melbourne. Whenever I told people I was going there, a conversation like this usually took place:

Robyn: I’m moving to Melbourne.
Person: Really? Have you got a job there.
Robyn: No.
Person: Oh, is it just a holiday?
Robyn: No.
Person: So what are you going to be doing there?
Robyn: I don’t know.
Person: Errrr… [implodes with confusion]

What it really came down to was I was really bored with doing very little in Auckland, so I thought it would be more interesting to be doing very little in Melbourne. So far that’s been proven true.

(Actually, just as a side note, when I say “doing very little”, I am using the literary technique of hyperbole. I don’t literally mean that I am doing very little, indeed there are not enough hours in the day for me to do all that I want to do. But you knew that, right?)

Melbourne is cool but everywhere you go there are reminders that society has a Serious Heroin Problem. Blue lights in toilets to make finding a vein hard, yellow needle disposal boxes when the vein is easy to find. The sign in the restaurant that says they don’t give out the toilet key to junkies. It’s all very urban and gritty, y’know.

Movies are more expensive here. A full price adult ticket in New Zealand is NZ$12.00, but here I have to pay around NZ$17.00, which totally sucks arse. But the good thing is there a quite a few cool independent theatres that play good films and don’t charge a lot. Sweet as.

Actually, I saw two incredibly cool movies that I possibly wouldn’t have had the opportunity to see in New Zealand.

The first was “The Crimson Rivers (Les Rivieres Pourpres),” which I saw the trailer for in New Caledonia. It was so cool. It was a fairly standard psycho killer thriller, but Vincent Cassel was in it, so that obviously elevated it to a new level of cool.

The other film I saw was “Nsync: Bigger Than Live,” which is an IMAX film of Nsync performing live in concert from the “No Strings Attached” tour. I saw this in Sydney, and it excited me. Not many films do that. I never thought I would be, or could be, but I’m really into Nsync now. I’m not sure words can express how much I love Nsync.

Anyway, back to Melbourne. Trams are fun because there are lots of crazy people who take trams. I have all these crazy-people-on-trams observations I’ve been scribbling down. And I want to go to Footscray, which is where “Romper Stomper” was set, but I’m a bit scared (Why? Russell Crowe might give me the bash?).

Right. That’s quite enough from me. Just to summarise: I’m in Melbourne, Nsync rule.