Tra la la

I’ve never done one of those LJ quiz things before, but I saw Starlajo had done one where you describe yourself using song titles from one band, and the idea just really appealed to me, so here ’tis.

Band: The Breeders
Are you male or female? The she
Describe yourself: Hag
How do some people feel about you? Sinister foxx.
How do you feel about yourself? I just wanna get along.
Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Fortunately gone.
Where would you rather be? Safari
Describe what you want to be: Glorious.
Describe how you live: Full on idle.
Describe how you love: Divine hammer.
Share a few words of wisdom: Happiness is a warm gun.

Also, as this is NZ Music Month, I thought it would be appropriate if I did it with song titles from a New Zealand artist, so I pulled out my MC OJ and the Rhythm Slave “What Can We Say” CD and sorted the album’s ten song titles into the ten categories.

Band: MC OJ and the Rhythm Slave
Are you male or female? The one about girls.
Describe yourself: Money worries.
How do some people feel about you? Positivity.
How do you feel about yourself? Rhythm business.
Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Doc Martens.
Where would you rather be? 10:55.
Describe what you want to be: Joined at the hip-hop.
Describe how you live: Sway like this.
Describe how you love: Body rhythms (protect yourself).
Share a few words of wisdom: Marijuana.


I won a $25 gift card by winning the Kiwi trivia quiz at Borders. I’m really glad I won, because if I’d come first or second I would have ended up with a book about tramping.

A month or so ago I ended up doing the sports quiz with some friends. I miserably failed – something like six out of 40, but it was fun. Tonight I noticed a few people who were at the sports quiz were also there for the Kiwi quiz. So are there serial quiz attendees, people who show up every month hoping to score the big prizes? And more to the point, am I becoming one of them?

With my winnings I bought the Rough Guide to New Zealand, which is all part of my masterplan.

Oh, I also saw “Maid In Manhattan”. It’s obvious it’s the school holidays – cellphones were constantly ringing and beeping during the film. I have this theory about the films that Jennifer Lopez makes – there are J-Lo movies, and there are Jennifer Lopez films. J-Lo movies are the crappy, movie star, money-making exercises, while Jennifer Lopez films are well written, well acted and less crowd-pleasing.

“The Wedding Planner” and “Maid In Manhattan” are J-Lo movies. “Angel Eyes” and “The Cell” are Jennifer Lopez films. “Enough” might seem like a Jennifer Lopez film, but it’s actually a J-Lo movies, as “Out Of Sight” might seem like a J-Lo, but it’s actually a Jennifer Lopez.

(Actually, “Out Of Sight” is a really excellent movie. It’s one of my all-time faves, yo.)

Ok, back to “Maid In Manhattan”. J-Lo and Ralph Fiennes and the cute kid were all boring and predictable. The characters that interested me were Stanley Tucci and Amy Sedaris’ characters. He was the politician’s manager person, and she was there only to make Natasha Richardson’s character look less bitchy in comparison. But they were both bitter and disgusting and much more fun than the maid or the politician. Ah, but it’s a fairytale, so we mustn’t expect too much.

Computer Expo

As regular reader of these pages may be aware of, I have a liking for expos, so you can imagine my delight when I learned of the Computerworld Expo. Actually, that’s a lie. The news of the 2001 Computerworld Expo did not excite me much.

I went to the 1999 one and listened to some guy with a beard rave on about where the Internet was “@”. That was enough to make me run away screaming in horror and disgust.

I wasn’t planning on going this year, but a friend required me to go so he could bum a ride off me, so I didn’t really have a choice.

We arrived just in time for the Geek Bowl, a quiz to test the geek knowledge of the participants. After swiping my card with the “hostess” (who looked suspiciously like a man), I went in and joined the Geeks team. The Geeks at that stage were having their arses kicked by the Nerds team on the other side of the room.

At this stage I was miserable. Sitting in a room full of self-confessed geeks and nerds who were answering questions about computer stuff that was going straight over my head, I felt sure that anyone moment someone really cool was going to walk past and see me and laugh and ruin my urban hipster status. However I realised that really cool people would not be at such an expo, so I cheered up a little.

Then an unexpected thing happened. As well as questions about computers, there were also questions about general geek culture, including more than a few about geek movies. There were questions I knew the answers to, and answer them I did. Soon the Geeks were in the lead, totally kicking the Nerds’ arse! Then the scoring program crashed, but it was up and running in time for the grand final question.

The question asked what Patricia Neal’s character said to Gort the robot, and it was also said by Bruce Campbell’s character in Army of Darkness. I knew it! I hurriedly scribbled it down on a piece of paper. But the Nerds got it right too, so it was a draw. The quizmaster threw inflatable penguins at the teams and I grabbed one. I was so happy. Oh, quelle sad-arse!

My next missions was to score as much free stuff as possible without being disgusted by the large amount of e-w@nkery.

My loot:

  • 3M Notebook Palm Pads
  • Three bags of jelly beans for Job Universe
  • Two IBM drink bottles with a compartment containing three penguins (like those Eskimo lollies, but penguin-shaped)
  • One sock (I apparently get the other one when they ring me up later)
  • Three Compaq juggling balls
  • Two cans of Red Bull
  • One can of V

(I’m thinking if I had all that stuff before the 12-hour movie marathon, I would have been set.)

It wasn’t pretty interesting to compare this year’s expo to 1999’s. There was much less pretentious arse than two years ago. There was a distinct lack of dodgy web designers (“I will design you one A4 size www page for $50!!!!”). There was money behind a lot of the stands, and it showed.

The best bit is how, unlike at other expos, sex is not used to sell anything. Stick a chick in hot pants and potential customers will not look at her – they’ll be too busy looking at the hardware to notice.

I left the Expo with my bag full of free stuff that I don’t actually have much use for. I donated the penguin to a friend’s geek flat. It pains me to say it, but I had a reasonably good time.